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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27263950">Never Have I Ever</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnMooncakes/pseuds/AutumnMooncakes'>AutumnMooncakes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Camp Camp (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:39:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,215</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27263950</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnMooncakes/pseuds/AutumnMooncakes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A nice game of Never Have I Ever escalates into chaos.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Never Have I Ever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>SPOILERS for Camp Camp seasons 1-4! Some swearing, shaming, teasing and bullying, violence, angst, and mentions of sex, bestiality, and dysfunctional families. This takes place the following summer, a year after the main series. Edgar is Harrison’s older brother. Originally requested by lake-lilac-experiment.tumblr.com</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The game started innocently enough.<br/>
“Never have I ever made cookies from scratch.”<br/>
“Never have I ever jumped off a diving board.”<br/>
“Never have I ever set off my own Fourth of July fireworks.”<br/>
“Remember, we want honesty!” David had told them.<br/>
The counselors, the Quartermaster and all the campers were playing Never Have I Ever because David felt they were overdue for an icebreaking game. Despite Max loudly protesting that they didn’t need an icebreaking game at this stage, they had all sat in a circle in the mess hall and were now listing things they hadn’t done to see who had done them.<br/>
“Okay, never have I ever … uh … watched <em>Captain America: Civil War</em>,” said Nerris.<br/>
“You really should,” Edgar told him. He and Ered tried to take the same seat, but she pushed him out of the circle. “Well, um … I saw it. Do I need to say anything else?”<br/>
“Whose team were you on?” Nurf demanded.<br/>
“Team Iron Man,” Edgar responded.<br/>
Nurf cracked his knuckles.<br/>
Edgar thought. “Alright, let’s see. Never have I ever watched <em>Game of Thrones</em> season 6.”<br/>
He was met with stunned stares from a few people.<br/>
“Well, it’s not like I could get HBO over there!” he said.<br/>
This led to a whole string of similar statements by the next few players.<br/>
“Never have I ever watched <em>The Hunger Games</em> movies.”<br/>
“Never have I ever watched <em>Cinderella</em>.”<br/>
“Never have I ever watched <em>Ghostbusters</em>.”<br/>
“Let’s try and do something different, okay, kids?” said Gwen.<br/>
Space Kid grinned at the group. “Never have I ever toasted bread over a real fire.”<br/>
“We need to do that sometime!” said David.<br/>
“Never have I ever done a theater performance before coming here,” said Ered.<br/>
“You haven’t lived!” Preston cried.<br/>
It was Max’s turn in the center. “Never have I ever worn a dress!”<br/>
“Max, you’re supposed to tell us what happened!” said Nikki.<br/>
Max groaned. “My class once had to put on a short play about the Revolutionary War, I hated it, end of story. Now will those of you who have worn dresses please stand up?”<br/>
All the girls, Gwen, Preston, Dolph, David, and even the Quartermaster got up. Unlike the others, who were running, the Quartermaster simply ambled across with no sense of urgency. So naturally, he didn’t get a seat.<br/>
“What’d you wear a dress for?” said Neil, seeming afraid of the answer.<br/>
“I needed a marionette from a fortune teller,” the Quartermaster responded.<br/>
“Rrrright.”<br/>
“Is there anything the Quartermaster <em>hasn’t</em> done?” Nerris wondered aloud.<br/>
The next few players all started watching the Quartermaster’s reaction to their statements.<br/>
“Never have I ever done <em>Harry Potter</em> cosplay.”<br/>
“Never have I ever played Pixies and Pythons.”<br/>
“Never have I ever done karaoke.”<br/>
“Never have I ever learned a second language.”<br/>
The Quartermaster got up, and so did Max, Nikki, David, Preston, Gwen, Nerris, and Dolph, but Nurf asked, “How much learning counts as learning?”<br/>
“Does Morse Code count?” Neil asked, at almost the exact same time.<br/>
“Yes!” said Edgar.<br/>
Max tried to take Gwen’s seat, but her long legs got in his way. He sighed and went to the center, and without elaborating, said, “Never have I ever downloaded music illegally.”<br/>
“What language, Max?” Nerris called.<br/>
“Hindi!” Max snapped.<br/>
Space Kid sheepishly got up and tried to race to another seat, but Nurf tripped him up.<br/>
“So, you’re a criminal,” Max said to Space Kid.<br/>
“It was only a few songs from a TV show I like,” said Space Kid, backing away from Nurf.<br/>
“Shame on you,” said Nerris.<br/>
The children took Max’s cue and started moving onto more serious topics.<br/>
“Never have I ever littered.”<br/>
“Never have I ever stolen something.”<br/>
All eyes shifted from the Quartermaster as David darted across the circle but was intercepted by Nerris.<br/>
“Stealing an eraser from someone doesn’t count,” said Max.<br/>
“Oh, let’s not shame people, shall we?” said David.<br/>
“No, David, tell us,” said Neil eagerly.<br/>
David bumped his fingers together. “A long time ago, when I was somewhat misguided and … confused about my direction in life, I … may have got up to some mischief.”<br/>
“What’d you steal?”<br/>
“Pokémon toys. We really meant no harm. We just did it for fun.”<br/>
“‘We’?” Harrison echoed.<br/>
“Yeah, me and my … friends.”<br/>
“Pokémon? Really?” said Nurf. “That’s lame. Step up your game.”<br/>
“Pokémon isn’t lame!” said Nerris.<br/>
“It is too,” said Nurf. “You know what’s lame? Never have <em>I</em> ever wandered into the forest on my own for the entire day.”<br/>
“It’s not your turn,” said David.<br/>
Nerris pouted. “Look who’s talking. Never have I ever gone into the forest on my own to do interpretative dance.”<br/>
“You can’t prove anything!” Nurf shouted. “Never have I ever jumped into the lake with my hat still on!”<br/>
“Hey, I’ve done that too!” Harrison cried.<br/>
“Kids, we have to play this game properly -”<br/>
“Never have I ever deliberately pushed someone into the lake!” Dolph pointed at Harrison.<br/>
“Never have I ever cried about robots going into space and not coming back,” said Ered.<br/>
Space Kid’s lip trembled.<br/>
Gwen smirked at David. “Never have I ever become stuck in a carnival ride meant for children.”<br/>
“Gwen!”<br/>
“Never have I ever tried to eat an apple pie while swinging from monkey bars and falling flat on my face with my dirt!” said Neil.<br/>
“That was one time!” Nikki shouted.<br/>
“Never have I ever wanted to fuck something that wasn’t my own species!” Max shouted.<br/>
“That’s out of line!” Gwen yelled.<br/>
“Never have I ever choked on bubblegum while rollerblading!” said Dolph to Ered.<br/>
Nikki leapt to Ered’s defense. “Never have I ever been buried by an entire tower of glasses that fell on me!”<br/>
Dolph gasped dramatically.<br/>
“Never have I ever had parents that spent jail time,” said Preston.<br/>
Nurf wasn’t listening. “Never have I ever had a father who wore a sock puppet on his -”<br/>
“I’LL RIP YOUR TONGUE OUT, YOU WHORE!” Neil lunged for Nurf’s throat.<br/>
Max was on a roll. “Never have I ever screwed up so bad I made my brother disappear!”<br/>
“That’s it.” Edgar stood up.<br/>
“You wanna fight?” Harrison asked Max. “Never have I ever had parents who didn’t care enough to show up at Parents Day!”<br/>
Max immediately punched Harrison, and the two boys started fighting. Space Kid, who had also been listening, burst into tears.<br/>
David waved his hands at the chaos. “Children! Please! Just stop yelling at each other! We can all apologize and figure this out!”<br/>
Nikki was biting Dolph’s ear. Nurf was holding Neil by the legs and knocking him against the wall, and Nerris was trying to stop him. Edgar had pulled Max off Harrison, but now Max was now trying to claw Edgar’s eyes out instead. Preston, in the midst of trying to get out of the scuffle, had fallen into Ered, and as she tried to get up, she elbowed him in the nose. Space Kid was bawling and unsuccessfully trying to wipe his tears through his helmet.<br/>
“Gotta go check my ant traps.” The Quartermaster ambled out of the mess hall.<br/>
“Gwen, what do we do?” David cried.<br/>
“We should take an aspirin,” said Gwen. “Then we should get a fire extinguisher, just in case.” She left David in the middle of the pandemonium.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The ideas for which campers know other languages came from these headcanons by thanos-is-a-power-bottom.tumblr.com.<br/>The carnival ride idea was a variation on this headcanon from dadvidismycanonheadcanon.tumblr.com.<br/>Space Kid being sad over robots was based on this headcanon from tjisageek.tumblr.com<br/>The thing about Nurf going into the woods to dance is from an Instagram Q&amp;A with Blaine Gibson, so I guess that makes it canon?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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